Chapter 3: A Wife's Understanding of Sin

Please feel free to comment: Perhaps a story, an encouragement, a verse, an application, a question or something about the chapter that struck you...

This Chapter for me was one of the most helpful ones in the book. The Put-Off - Put-On process has helped me much to aright my thoughts.

I think the most important thing to remember from the first few pages of Chapter Three is this: You married a sinner. Keep that in the forefront of your mind. Better yet, remember that HE, your husband, also married a sinner. Keep that in the forefront of your mind. Also remember that it has been said that you are never more like God than when you forgive. Practice forgiving an offense before you have time to spend time thinking about it. (I will beat the "don't get offended drum" a lot). We have many exhortations in the scripture to forgive. Be willing to humble yourself. In fact, when I first started this I did a quick little study on humility. Check out for yourself God's promises to the humble. Then do a similar one for the prideful. Keep your eye on your sins, not his and you will be building your house.

Pages 20, 21, and 22 deal with the four characteristics of sin, our provision for sin through Christ and finally how to deal with the consequence of former sin.

I am going to concentrate my comments on pages 23 and 24: Dealing with the present sin in our lives. Since 2003 when I first read this book I have attempted to diligently apply the put-off - put-on biblical process of dealing with my sin. Here are three principles that have helped me in this journey:

1. Spending much, much time in the word is crucial. What you put into your mind is what comes out. Proverbs says as a man thinketh in his heart, so he is. The bible also tells us to not be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds that we would know what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. This kind of transformation (a metamorphosis...from the inside out) can only occur by the power of the Holy Spirit changing our thinking through the study and meditation of Scripture. There is no substitute and no shortcut. If you get nothing else from this study, but you become a consistent and diligent student of the word of God you have accomplished much. John MacArthur says this about the renewed mind: it is one saturated and controlled by the Word of God. We all know what saturated means...are you saturated in the word?

2. Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness. (1 Timothy 4:7) also page 23 in the text. Godliness means a proper attitude and response toward God. Godliness also has the root meaning of God-likeness which has the implication of being conformed into the image of His Son. As we renew our mind with the word of God through the study and meditation of Scripture we can purpose in our hearts to obey God. I liked what the author said the meaning of the Greek word for discipline in this particular verse was: gymnazo. To do it over and over again until you get it right. Think of how many years you or I may have allowed ungodly thinking to rule. It will take practice to eliminate that habit and replace it with right thinking. Repentance will look like something. It is a 180 degree turn in the opposite direction. It will take time and practice and a heart that wants to please God. The author calls this biblical process of change "put off-put on " We put off wrong, sinful thoughts and put on right godly thoughts.

Putting on the right thoughts is as important as putting off the sinful ones. Think about your sin when it happens...analyze it. What were you really saying? What was it that YOU wanted and were not getting? What caused you to react in that manner? Go to the word..confess your sin to the Lord and search the scripture for a replacement for the ungodly sinful thought. I have heard many women make similar statements to the ones made on page 25 of the text. "I can't take it anymore." "He is such a jerk, he will never change." "It's no use, it's hopeless." And my favorite, "the word just doesn't work for me." Just reading these statements have made me more aware of how I deceive myself with my own words. For instance I might say in my heart...I am so tired this morning, I just can't be joyful." Instead I could say, "I will just decide to smile and be thankful. Maybe putting on some music or a teaching would help." Many, many times we are unaware of decisions we make. Decisions that affect those around us. For instance, I remember a time when chocolate milk had been spilled on my kitchen floor not once, not twice but three times in one day. The first two times I reacted rightly. The third time was too much for me...an unpleasant tone erupted from my mouth. I had had a choice...I chose to speak harshly and lost one of my children's hearts temporarily. The problem was I didn't think I deserved spilt milk for a third time in one day. I got offended and my children suffered. What a difference we can make when we react rightly Make no mistake it is a decision, we have no excuse. Changing what I say either out loud or in my heart really helps me to think differently about something. Again, as a man thinks in his heart so he is. Change your thought patterns and your attitude and you will change your household. You will be a heroine..lay down your will and align it with Christ will for your husband and your children's sake and more importantly for the glory of the Lord. This process has made a tremendous difference in my home.

3. Know your sin. It always helps me to examine my heart from time to time. To do this I usually go to James chapter 1. I will recopy here some of what I wrote in the previous entry. It might help in the examination process:

As humans we have ulterior motives and agendas. Christ does not have any hidden agenda. His desire is always for our good. When He was here on earth He never did or said anything outside of the Father’s will. (John 7:16-18, John 12:49-50, John 14:10-11) The Bible on the other hand says that our hearts are desperately wicked, who can know them. It says to keep our heart with all diligence because out of it springs the issues of life. Go to James chapter 1:14-15. Ask yourself what are the desires of mine that draw me away from your perfect will, O God? Ask Him to show you and help you give way to His will. Examining what draws you away will help you be very aware of where you are likely to fall. Keep your focus on God and his desires rather than you and your desires.

For me it is not having things go my way...Like my day isn't going like I had planned it to go. There are unexpected interruptions (Well, DUH!) Another one is responding in kind to an abrupt or inpatient tone in my husband's voice. I could choose to answer him gently with love ignoring the offense. (Prov 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath) or (any fool can start a quarrel..not sure where in proverbs that one is) When I respond in an unkind way our household becomes filled with strife. I grieve my Lord, my husband and my children. So much strife an unpleasantness is avoided by responding rightly. If we suffer for righteousness sake it is a good thing the Bible says. Your home becomes more and more a place of refuge and peace for your family. A place they want to be. And all because you choose not to get offended. Knowing these sinful tendencies of mine, confessing them to God or to anyone else I may have injured (confess means no excuses...HUMBLING yourself...saying the same thing about your sin as God says) helps to keep me accountable and convicted.


Finally, as I was studying this chapter to write this post I turned to Hebrews 4:16. (see page 26 of the text) "Let us, therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Here is what I found out when I checked out John MacArthur's commentary and the Believer's Bible Commentary for this particular verse. Contrast God's approachability through his Son by most rulers...ancient or otherwise. (see Esther 4:11) The Holy Spirit calls for us to come boldly and confidently to God's throne for mercy and grace through Jesus Christ. It was at the throne of God that Christ made atonement for sins, and it is there that grace is dispensed to believers for all issues of life. John MacArthur says that "grace to you" became a standard greeting among believers who celebrated this provision. Pretty cool, huh? You can find more out about God's grace in chapter 3 of Ephesians. At the end of this chapter Paul speaks of our access with confidence through faith in Him. (Not self-confidence, Christ confidence) Also from the Believer's Bible Commentary a man named Morgan writes this: "I am never tired of pointing out that the Greek phrase translated "in time of need" is a colloquialism of which "in the nick of time" is the exact equivalent. "that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the nick of time"--grace just when and where I need it. You are attacked by temptation. At the moment of assault, you look to Him, and the grace is there to help in the nick of time. There is no postponement of your petition until the evening hour of prayer. But there in the city street with the flaming temptation in front of you, (or in your house with your husband or child in front of you :D) turn to Christ with a cry for help, and the grace will be there in the nick of time." Take the way of escape that He provides.

Grace to You
Jean