17 From Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called for the elders of the church. 18 And when they had come to him, he said to them: “You know, from the first day that I came to Asia, in what manner I always lived among you, 19 serving the Lord with all humility, with many tears and trials which happened to me by the plotting of the Jews; 20 how I kept back nothing that was helpful, but proclaimed it to you, and taught you publicly and from house to house, 21 testifying to Jews, and also to Greeks, repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ. 22 And see, now I go bound in the spirit to Jerusalem, not knowing the things that will happen to me there, 23 except that the Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulations await me. 24 But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.—Acts 20:17-24
Sometimes in the midst of a trial I make the mistake of judging how “I” am handling it. My pride goes into overdrive as I feel my “control” slipping away. My sleep goes off kilter, my anxiety ratchets up, my daily routines are upended and even the ground beneath my feet seems to tilt and sway. Nothing is as it was. The status quo “I” worked so hard to attain is gone. I can even read the words of Paul here in verse 24 which should be encouraging and become discouraged. I forget that the word “move” is relative, meaning that it spans a whole range of definitions. In this context it doesn’t mean unaffected. It means, primarily, unshaken in faith. Paul doesn’t try to hide his suffering. He never says that they are not difficult.
Paul faced much affliction, persecution and anguish of spirit in his lifetime but Scripture tells us here that none of these things moved him. I so want to be like Paul but when I am ill or going through a trial I can’t, in all honesty, say that they don’t move me. My trials can make me complain, worry and be short-tempered. On the positive side they also make me cling more and more to the Lord. They do “move” me in the right direction because in my suffering I see my own insufficiency. My trials make me see my need to live dependent on God’s grace. They make me exquisitely aware that I need the God who “sees me and looks after me” to walk me through this life.
Beloved…God has promised to complete that good work He began in us. As believers our lives cannot help but testify to the grace of God because the grace of God, lives in us. We will finish our race with joy. Our trials refine us no matter what it feels like or look like in the moment. Paul never fails to encourage us with that truth.
6 For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.—2 Corinthians 4:6-11
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.—2 Corinthians 3:18
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.—2 Corinthians 12:9-10
