Letter to My Mom from 2005

Missing my mom this Mother's Day...The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are His everlasting arms. 

March 11, 2005

Dear Mom,

It is hard for me to believe that you're going to be eighty...I don't even want to think about it, Mom.  I just want to tell you how much I love you and that your presence in my life is such a blessing.  What a gift the Lord gave me when he gave me you.  There really aren't words...your example to me over the years has been an inspiration and has led me down many right paths.  

As I get older I understand more and more the impact that parents have on their childrens' lives.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have taught me and are still teaching me.  My life is a reflection of the Lord and His faithfulness but you, Mom,  taught me about HIM.

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.--Deuteronomy 6:7

Thank you for your steadfastness and faithfulness over the years...even when I sorely disappointed you.  What a blessing that the Lord included this verse in Romans...

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.--Romans 8:28

Most of all Mom thank you for teaching me how to be a mother...How to love my children...Each one of my girls is such a blessing from God and a wonderful tribute to all that you taught me.  Mom, I receive so many compliments on my girls...the glory truly goes to the Lord and to you for showing me how.

My life is a reflection of the values that both you and Dad instilled in me at a young age...thank you for your love, compassion, discipline...and, of course, all the hard work. (Smile)

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:--Proverbs 31:28

Dad...I don't want you to feel left out...your steadfastness, strength, kindness and protection enabled me to have the stability necessary to raise my girls and to choose a man who shares the same values.  I love you, Dad. 

Psalm 127

Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain.
 It is vain for you to rise up early,
To sit up late,
To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

“The Lord bless you and keep you;
 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’--Numbers 6:24-26

from my journal:

I miss you Mom and am grateful for my conversation with you last Mother's Day...Here is what I wrote in my journal about it that day: 

"Woke my mom up on Mother's Day and of course she LOVED it. As I spoke to her I was thinking that it might be the last time I could wish her a Happy Mother's Day on this earth...which made me choke up during my prayer for her but by God's grace I made it through. Just before I got off the phone she told me how much she loved me and how good I had been to her and to Daddy. What a blessing from the Lord for both her and me to have been given a small window of clarity and coherence at 7:45 this morning. God is good."

This is the journal entry I made after seeing my mom for the last time this past November...

"Spent some time with my mom today who, from what we are told, is very near the end of her life this side of heaven. The one word that I would use to describe her demeanor would be GRACIOUS. She was in death as I remember her in life....forever and always gracious to everyone AND when I grow up I want to be just like her."

Love is the Antidote for Sin...

Let all that you do be done with love.--1 Corinthians 16:14

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’  This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”--Matthew 22:37-40

God's love is the antidote for sin.  May I by Your Spirit, Father, owe no one anything but love.  He who loves another has fulfilled the law.  Your Word tells me that the commandments can be summed up in this saying, namely, 

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  

Love does no harm to a neighbor...love is the fulfillment of the law.  Loving others with Your love is what brings You glory and others good.  This is also what is best and good for me!  May Your love be the motivating force...may it be the reason and the power behind all that I do, think and say.   If your love is not what drives me and fills me, then no matter what I do it is vain, empty and profits me nothing.  

Your love obeys...Your love is humble....Your love is sacrificial and meets another at their point of need.  The Bible in John 13:1 tells me this:

Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.  (emphasis mine)

John MacArthur says "He loved them to the end" means literally, He loved them to perfection...fervently...to the limits of love.  Oh Father, my love falls so very far short of the standards that you have not only laid out for me but also modeled for me!  This is how I want to love those you have placed in my life...to perfection!  Help me to love as You do.  Your love is NOT of me...Love is OF You.  We love, because You first loved us.  My love cannot love my enemies and do good to those who spitefully use me.  My love cannot love those who say all kinds of evil against me.  My love can only love me...my love is selfish and always seeks its own.  Your love is sacrificial...it is good and gracious to all!  You send rain on the evil and the good.  Your love was demonstrated toward me when I was still Your enemy.  When I was helpless, hopeless and against You, You died for me!  I cannot generate this kind of love on my own...it is a gift from You.  Your love sacrificed Your Son and made a way in the darkness for me.  Your love endured the cross and paid the price for my redemption.  

I surrender to You, Father and I invite Your Spirit to take control,  govern my heart and produce the fruits of righteousness to Your praise and glory!  Ministry apart from Your Spirit is empty, vain and meaningless.  Guard and clothe all my words, thoughts and actions with Your love.  Your goodness...Your active love toward me is what led me to repentance.  Help me to demonstrate that kind of love to those You place in my life.  

Let all I do be done in love!!