Being Carried On...By Anna

Isaiah 43:18-19 “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

It is in our nature to move on. We may not do it consciously—we may not even want to—but, eventually, we do. The wound does not just stop hurting altogether—Time cannot ‘heal’ it, but it does act as an anesthetic. Instead of the soul-hurt continually throbbing in agony, the pain decreases gradually, almost infinitesimally, till one day you wake up and realize you’re still alive; you’re not dead, the hurt didn’t kill you…you’re not as broken as you thought. God didn’t design us to wallow in pain for the rest of our lives. We’re just not constructed that way. No matter how bad the knock-out blow was, eventually we get to our feet again.      Occasionally, you ‘pick at the scab’ a little too much, or you strain your stitches, so to speak, and the pain returns. But only for a little while—twinges, every now and then, when something reminds you a little too much of what (or who) you’ve lost.

But I think that, in one way, having those you have lost still be alive hurts worse. I strongly doubt there will be any recriminations in heaven, and besides, unless you murder yourself, it is not physically possible to rejoin your loved one(s). To put it simply, it would not be your fault you cannot be with them. And it’s not mine either. But at times it feels that way. It feels as though I am betraying those I would die for by this unconscious ‘moving on’, that I have callously left those who I swore I never would, that every time I love someone else I am forgetting those who I loved first, or, worse, I am merely using these new loves as replacements (and I’m fairly certain that’s rather sick). I feel as though any gift I am making should be for my lost loved ones, not the ones that God has given me now. I feel that I should have their picture up in every corner of my room, that I should never let them go, that I should never let myself heal.

Of course, knowing we’re supposed to move on doesn’t mean (a), that well-intentioned people telling us that we’re supposed to move on, or we’re taking this too hard, or we’re being too protective of the loved one(s) we have left, is any less hurtful, and (b), it doesn’t mean that moving on doesn’t hurt like hell (if you’ll pardon the expression, but even, say, having an anvil dropped on your head doesn’t quite seem to cover the agony involved, so that was the closest simile I could come up with).  I am moving on—not quite consciously, and I rather suspect that I stupidly drag my feet and kick and scream whenever God tries to lead me away from my place of pain—and every time I do, it feels as though I am betraying the ones I’ve lost. Mum told me that spouses, when they lose the other to death, if they eventually remarry, struggle with the same sense of guilt.

Just yesterday, in fact, we were driving home from church and I suddenly burst into tears in the backseat. (A thirty-or-forty minute drive, about 2/3 of it spent in violent sobbing all over my sister’s pink sweater—which she was gracious enough to forget about—without the saving grace of tissues anywhere in the car. Imagine.)

The funny thing is, I’d had a brilliant time. But I’d strained my stitches. I’d picked the scab. And I’d discovered I’m still very new to this business of moving on.

Lucky for me, my younger sister—the pink-sweater one—saw my distress and instantly switched seats, scooting closer to me and burying her face in my—well, her—pink sweater in an attempt to comfort me. (Of course, her motives were not entirely  altruistic…there was an extremely volatile stinkbug-hitchhiker at her end of the car. J All in all, it was a pretty nerve-racking ride.)

I will always love them, and I won’t ever forget them—I never could, not if I lived a hundred thousand years on this fallen earth (which I really hope I don’t). But, as my other sister kindly explained—nearly dislocating her wrist in the process…she was sitting in the front seat and reached her hand around to crying me in the seat behind her—it would be truly wrong NOT to move on, not to love others, not to have joy and life again. It would be wrong to focus entirely on what I’ve lost and not spare a thought for what my Savior has so graciously given me in return. “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21)

See, I woke up one day and I realized that I wasn’t sucked dry, that I wasn’t empty, that I wasn’t broken—anymore. I’d been all these things, but He’d restored me. He’d filled me up over and over again. He’d picked up all my pieces and put me back together again.  (And He did it so gently I didn’t even need Novocaine.) He did a new thing; better than what I had before. It sprang forth so swiftly, so easily, just when I needed it the most—and I didknow it. He made a road—He WAS the road—for me in the wilderness of my grief. He gave rivers of His comfort to drink from in the desert of hopelessness that I get stuck in all too often.

You know what the best bit is? I don’t have to ‘move on’ on my own.

Because He carries me forward.

Revelation 8 and 9 Notes...

¹ When He opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour. ² And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and to them were given seven trumpets. ³ Then another angel, having a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. ⁴ And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, ascended before God from the angel’s hand. 


There is a pause in heaven at the opening of the seventh seal before the first trumpet sounds.  This seal comes with an earthquake, the seven trumpet judgments and the seven bowl judgments which roll out from the seventh trumpet judgment.  (Still with me) The silence "heard" in heaven is the calm before the storm. All voices are stopped as the awesomeness of the judgment that is about to occur is contemplated.  The prayers of all the saints are offered upon the golden altar of God which is before His throne and the judgments to come are God's answer. (see Revelation 5:8)  His Kingdom is coming! 

⁵ Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and threw it to the earth. And there were noises, thunderings, lightnings, and an earthquake.

There is the earthquake...

⁶ So the seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.

The trumpet judgments are more severe than the seal judgments but not as destructive as the bowl judgments that are coming.  They occur in the final 3.5 years of the tribulation.  The first four affect the earth itself...the last three affect its inhabitants and are demonic in nature. 

The First Trumpet: Vegetation Struck

⁷ The first angel sounded: And hail and fire followed, mingled with blood, and they were thrown to the earth.^[a] And a third of the trees were burned up, and all green grass was burned up.


The Second Trumpet: The Seas Struck


Then the second angel sounded: And something like a great mountain burning with fire was thrown into the sea, and a third of the sea became blood. ⁹ And a third of the living creatures in the sea died, and a third of the ships were destroyed.


The Third Trumpet: The Waters Struck


¹⁰ Then the third angel sounded: And a great star fell from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water. ¹¹ The name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters became wormwood, and many men died from the water, because it was made bitter.


The Fourth Trumpet: The Heavens Struck


¹² Then the fourth angel sounded: And a third of the sun was struck, a third of the moon, and a third of the stars, so that a third of them were darkened. A third of the day did not shine, and likewise the night. 


And as if it was necessary, read the last verse of chapter 8:


¹³ And I looked, and I heard an angel^[b] flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, “Woe, woe, woe to the inhabitants of the earth, because of the remaining blasts of the trumpet of the three angels who are about to sound!”


Three woes...three more trumpet soundings...worst than the first four.


Chapter 9


Fifth Trumpet: The Locusts from the Bottomless Pit


¹ Then the fifth angel sounded: And I saw a star fallen from heaven to the earth. To him was given the key to the bottomless pit. ² And he opened the bottomless pit, and smoke arose out of the pit like the smoke of a great furnace. So the sun and the air were darkened because of the smoke of the pit. ³Then out of the smoke locusts came upon the earth. And to them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. ⁴ They were commanded not to harm the grass of the earth, or any green thing, or any tree, but only those men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. ⁵ And they were not given authority to kill them, but to torment them for five months. Their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it strikes a man. ⁶ In those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will desire to die, and death will flee from them.
⁷ The shape of the locusts was like horses prepared for battle. On their heads were crowns of something like gold, and their faces were like the faces of men. ⁸ They had hair like women’s hair, and their teeth were like lions’ teeth. ⁹ And they had breastplates like breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wingswas like the sound of chariots with many horses running into battle. ¹⁰ They had tails like scorpions, and there were stings in their tails. Their power was to hurt men five months. ¹¹ And they had as king over them the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in Hebrew is Abaddon, but in Greek he has the name Apollyon. 


This star is an angelic being...maybe Satan himself who releases "demonic locusts" who were given the power to torture the inhabitants of the earth (but not kill) for five months. They were only to harm men who do not have the seal of God upon their forehead.  Those tormented by these creatures will find no relief...they will seek relief in death but dying will not be an option. 


One woe is past. Behold, still two more woes are coming after these things.

The Sixth Trumpet: The Angels from the Euphrates


¹³ Then the sixth angel sounded: And I heard a voice from the four horns of the golden altar which is before God, ¹⁴ saying to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Release the four angels who are bound at the great river Euphrates.” ¹⁵ So the four angels, who had been prepared for the hour and day and month and year, were released to kill a third of mankind. ¹⁶ Now the number of the army of the horsemen was two hundred million; I heard the number of them. ¹⁷ And thus I saw the horses in the vision: those who sat on them had breastplates of fiery red, hyacinth blue, and sulfur yellow; and the heads of the horses were like the heads of lions; and out of their mouths came fire, smoke, and brimstone. ¹⁸ By these three plagues a third of mankind was killed—by the fire and the smoke and the brimstone which came out of their mouths. ¹⁹ For their power^[a] is in their mouth and in their tails; for their tails are like serpents, having heads; and with them they do harm. 


These are fallen angels that were bound and are released to kill a third of mankind.  I am seeing God's sovereignty here....how about you? 


"So the four angels, who had been prepared for the hour and day and month and year, were released to kill a third of mankind."


Final Words of Chapter 9:


²⁰ But the rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands, that they should not worship demons, and idols of gold, silver, brass, stone, and wood, which can neither see nor hear nor walk. ²¹ And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries^[b] or their sexual immorality or their thefts.


Unbelievably those that remain who were not killed by these plagues will not repent.