To My Precious Daughters,
Today I allowed myself a detour in my normal Bible study...my Bible opened to Job 23 and I just started reading. Here we find Job, the most tried man in all the earth, wanting to meet God and present to Him, his case. Job wanted vindication. He wanted God to tell him why he was chosen to suffer so and to clear his name....Job wanted God to assure him of his righteousness. He thought that if he could just know the reason for his suffering he would be better able to deal with it. HA!
I have thought these very same things during my own trials which are/were puny compared to Job's. As I grow in the Lord, however, and begin even to fathom just a little bit of His greatness and majesty, my desires, like Job's did, change. I begin to say with Abraham, "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" I am weak...nothing brings that home to me like sickness and trials. I call it the wall of God...when you come up against it, you realize finally with heart knowledge that there is NOTHING you can control and NOTHING you can do. God is God and you are not!
Now you would think that you would hate this wall...I have and sometimes I still do. I have kicked at this wall many times but made no dent. By His grace, however, I am finally understanding that the wall of God is HIS MERCY AND HIS GRACE TO ME. It makes me acknowledge my own weakness and helplessness and cry out to Him, by faith, for His power and His presence....and truly this is what I REALLY want. I WANT HIM...ALWAYS.
Knowing this, here is what I now desire in my trials...I want to get through them in a way that glorifies my God. My trials are opportunities...God has allowed me the privilege of being an instrument to accomplish His purposes. Coming into His presence in my weakness and helplessness, I realize....I realize THAT HE IS GOD!!! God does what He wants to do in my life and He does it well! As I understand who He is, I trust Him more and more and am also able to perceive that He only desires good for me. Truly God knows the way I take and hedges me behind and before. He wants to bring forth my righteousness as the noon day. My job is to, BY FAITH, hold fast to His ways and His steps and not turn aside. I, like Job, am learning to treasure His words more than my necessary food. I stand in awe of Him...AND WANT TO BE MORE LIKE HIM....which is what my trials do...their purpose is to conform me into His image. He wants to bring me forth like gold after I have been tested. The dross burned away.
The more I walk with Him the less I desire to give in to the temptation of attempting to adjust the temperature and duration of my trials. In fact, the more I walk with Him the more I fear doing that. Truly I am beginning to understand that GOD'S WAY IS BEST! I am wanting what He wants more and more...His word does that in each of our hearts. It is alive...living and powerful the Bible says and sharper than any two edged sword....it works in my heart and will work in yours to make you desire your God and what He wants for you more and more. If you do nothing else, do what is most important. Spend time with Him and His word and you will be changed and transformed...just sit with Him...He does the rest.
My prayer for each of us is that we would have all that God has for us. That nothing would be left on the table. I pray that He would perform in us and through us all those things that He has appointed and that WE WOULD NOT GET IN THE WAY! He is God, we are not...He performs all things well. We do not do anything well...it is only in Him that we can do anything. Praying that He increases and we decrease.
Love
Mom
Here is Job 23...
1 Then Job answered and said: 2 “Even today my complaint is bitter;
My hand is listless because of my groaning.
3 Oh, that I knew where I might find Him,
That I might come to His seat!
4 I would present my case before Him,
And fill my mouth with arguments.
5 I would know the words which He would answer me,
And understand what He would say to me.
6 Would He contend with me in His great power?
No! But He would take note of me.
7 There the upright could reason with Him,
And I would be delivered forever from my Judge.
8 “Look, I go forward, but He is not there,
And backward, but I cannot perceive Him;
9 When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him;
When He turns to the right hand, I cannot see Him.
10 But He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.
11 My foot has held fast to His steps;
I have kept His way and not turned aside.
12 I have not departed from the commandment of His lips;
I have treasured the words of His mouth
More than my necessary food.
13 “But He is unique, and who can make Him change?
And whatever His soul desires, that He does.
14 For He performs what is appointed for me,
And many such things are with Him.
15 Therefore I am terrified at His presence;
When I consider this, I am afraid of Him.
16 For God made my heart weak,
And the Almighty terrifies me;
17 Because I was not cut off from the presence of darkness,
And He did not hide deep darkness from my face.
