Proverbs 17:14 The beginning of strife [is like] releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.
Prov 20:3 [It is] honorable for a man to stop striving, Since any fool can start a quarrel.
Read a few more to get warmed to the subject. :D
Proverbs 21:9 Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverb 21:19 Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.
Proverbs 27:15 A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike;
Prov 13:10 By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised [is] wisdom.
Are we getting the message? The Lord repeats this theme in a multiple of ways over and over again in His word. (Kinda like we do with our kids, sometimes) He must really want us to hear it.
If only we could remember just at the beginning of a conflict what an impact we have on our families by the way we respond. Many of us respond to our husbands in ways we wouldn't even consider responding to a friend or someone outside our home. It is not a question of knowing how to respond...I think most of us know how to respond. Sometimes, however, with those closest to us we get lazy. We forget God's purpose for us. We were created to be helpmates for our husbands and the caretaker of the home and children. Responding with anything other than a humble and gentle spirit then is rebellion against God's perfect will for us.
Hear this next part...it is important. What you communicate to your children through your relationship with your husband will stay with them for the rest of their lives. That should be a sobering thought. Children will learn all the fundamental lessons of love, forgiveness, joy, humility, compassion, patience, self-sacrifice, virtue, sin...I could go on...from observing their parents interact. What YOU teach them right or wrong will be rooted deep in their hearts. If you are patient, your children will be patient. If you are loving and compassionate, your children will display these qualities. If you turn to Jesus for help, so will they.
As wives do what you can to send the right messages to your kids. Don't say...but my husband...change your behavior...NOW. Don't look back...press on for the prize of the upward calling of God in Christ Jesus. Answer your husband with grace and humility. Let your gentleness, as the bible says in Philippians, be known. Are you known as a gentle woman in your household? I am not, but oh, how I long to be.
Humility as John MacArthur says is the perfect antidote to the self-love that poisons human relationships. Meekness is the willingness to suffer injury or insult rather than inflict such hurts. It is what Jesus was at the cross. He had the ability to retaliate but instead He allowed Himself to be led as a lamb to slaughter. Meekness is the opposite of being out of control as we might think. John MacArthur says that meekness is not weakness, but rather supreme self-control empowered by the Spirit. Think then of meekness as power under control. Meekness makes a decision to put the other first. This type of attitude heals and edifies.
Don't look at what the cost of behaving this way will be to your pride. Yeah, it will be humiliating ... focus on the results. What will be the outcome or fruit of your changed reactions. Sometimes we can get so embroiled in conflict that we can no longer see the big picture. The next time a conflict starts try to step back and view it as a play in which you want the godly outcome. Look fully into the faces and eyes of your children. Really see the damage and the hurt you are causing. By the power of the Spirit who dwells in you, put aside your own offense and make the sacrifice of righteousness. Again do not concern yourself with how others in your household react....YOU respond rightly...You be the first to change...and see what the Lord will do with your obedience and faithfulness.
NOTE: I wrote the above in my car while waiting for one of my daughter's classes to finish. I was tested as soon as I arrived home on this. I failed miserably. It is clear to me that this is an area that Satan does not want us to persevere and will do what he can to condemn and thwart our efforts. Look up! Press on! Make a practice of having a gentle and quiet spirit. Most of all remember that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Be convicted but not condemned.
Our own selfishness gets in the way of the relationship we want to have with our husbands. Look to His word and His Spirit for help. It is not about what your husband said or did...it is about glorifying our Father in heaven in our words and deeds. Worship Him through your right words and deeds. Teach your children how to respond biblically. Pouting, manipulation, outburst of wrath, selfishness and nagging are all learned sinful behaviors. Change them using Scripture to show you the more excellent way.
In closing, you have one time around with your family to do it right. If you are behaving selfishly and causing conflict or increasing the conflict with your bad reactions in your home, repent. Surrender to the God's Spirit in your heart and diligently apply these qualities in your day to day marital relationship with your husband. You will be amazed at how your obedience will not only be a blessing to those around you, but to you as well as your family follows your lead and begins to respond with these attitudes also.
Monday, October 11, 2010
HOW TO RUIN YOUR LOOKS!
Dear Suzanne, Rebecca, Anna, and Mikayla,
We are continuing in the Book of Lamentations Chapter 1, and we are looking at reasons NOT to sin...In the last post we saw that sin caused affliction and eventual captivity. The third reason not to sin is that sin steals our beauty. Lamentations 1:6 says this:
And from the daughter of Zion All her splendor (beauty - KJV) has departed.
Sin robs us, girls, of our beauty! I can testify to this. I can look at pictures of myself in my early twenties and see the progression of sin in my eyes and in my face and even my hair. They make me sad to look at today because they remind me of my sin and how much sorrow I caused to myself and to others close to me. I am a woman who has been forgiven much and because of that I am ever so grateful for God's grace! So how was my sin reflected in my looks. My demeanor no longer looked innocent...my face was hardened...the lines were no longer soft because my expression was one of a woman driven by her own selfish desires. My eyes did not reflect compassion but had a hunted, haunted look that is characteristic of someone seeking their own. I had a bald patch on my head from anxiety. I had to style my hair in a certain way to cover it...it is a good thing it was the eighties and poofy hair was the style.
Our own selfishness (the opposite of love and God is love) is reflected not only in our looks but in our thoughts, words and actions. We become what we worship...most of us worship self...our own desires...and our world becomes smaller and smaller as we see it only through that one lens. Don't take my word for it...go to the mall...look at even the 13 and 14 year old girls and you can see what they worship and what they spend their time on...look at their demeanor...their faces have already begun to harden. Look at an older woman 20's or 30's perhaps and you will see the same thing multiplied. Watch a mom whose heart is set on herself and the things of the world in a store with her child. I know you have seen it and it is UGLY. Even if the woman were gorgeous by the world's standards her selfishness would so mar her beauty at that moment that most of us would not be able to see it. Look at a child who has been left to her own way...her face as she is being denied...it is not attractive. Taken to the extreme our own sinful desires can make us animal like and grotesque in appearance.
As we continue in sin our beauty is replaced by sorrow and weariness that come from being enslaved to things that do not profit. No amount of make up will hide it. We are not taking His yoke upon us (Matt 11:28-30) but the heavy, heavy yoke of the world of bondage to things that do not profit temporally or eternally. Futility abounds...our burdens become great and we multiply the trials and problems we face.
It is only when we gaze upon Him, behold Him, allow His word to penetrate our hearts, and worship Him can our countenance relax and His light shine through because we are now living for Him and not ourselves. His desires are on our hearts and we are not longer striving for the futile and worthless things the world values. We can relax knowing He is in charge...He is performing all things for us...He will perfect that which concerns us...and one of my favorites is that in the multitude of my anxieties within His comforts would delight my soul. As we go through the trials of life with Him our faith increases because we see with heart knowledge that He is always there, He is faithful, He does not afflict us willingly, He is good and He is gracious, and He gives us a future and a hope. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.--Jeremiah 29:11
Look to Him...put away your sin...Behold Him and watch Him bring beauty from ashes. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.--2nd Cor 3:18
Let your beauty be as it is described in 1 Peter: "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.--1 Peter 3:4
Love
Mom
“The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”--Numbers 6:24-26
We are continuing in the Book of Lamentations Chapter 1, and we are looking at reasons NOT to sin...In the last post we saw that sin caused affliction and eventual captivity. The third reason not to sin is that sin steals our beauty. Lamentations 1:6 says this:
And from the daughter of Zion All her splendor (beauty - KJV) has departed.
Sin robs us, girls, of our beauty! I can testify to this. I can look at pictures of myself in my early twenties and see the progression of sin in my eyes and in my face and even my hair. They make me sad to look at today because they remind me of my sin and how much sorrow I caused to myself and to others close to me. I am a woman who has been forgiven much and because of that I am ever so grateful for God's grace! So how was my sin reflected in my looks. My demeanor no longer looked innocent...my face was hardened...the lines were no longer soft because my expression was one of a woman driven by her own selfish desires. My eyes did not reflect compassion but had a hunted, haunted look that is characteristic of someone seeking their own. I had a bald patch on my head from anxiety. I had to style my hair in a certain way to cover it...it is a good thing it was the eighties and poofy hair was the style.
Our own selfishness (the opposite of love and God is love) is reflected not only in our looks but in our thoughts, words and actions. We become what we worship...most of us worship self...our own desires...and our world becomes smaller and smaller as we see it only through that one lens. Don't take my word for it...go to the mall...look at even the 13 and 14 year old girls and you can see what they worship and what they spend their time on...look at their demeanor...their faces have already begun to harden. Look at an older woman 20's or 30's perhaps and you will see the same thing multiplied. Watch a mom whose heart is set on herself and the things of the world in a store with her child. I know you have seen it and it is UGLY. Even if the woman were gorgeous by the world's standards her selfishness would so mar her beauty at that moment that most of us would not be able to see it. Look at a child who has been left to her own way...her face as she is being denied...it is not attractive. Taken to the extreme our own sinful desires can make us animal like and grotesque in appearance.
As we continue in sin our beauty is replaced by sorrow and weariness that come from being enslaved to things that do not profit. No amount of make up will hide it. We are not taking His yoke upon us (Matt 11:28-30) but the heavy, heavy yoke of the world of bondage to things that do not profit temporally or eternally. Futility abounds...our burdens become great and we multiply the trials and problems we face.
It is only when we gaze upon Him, behold Him, allow His word to penetrate our hearts, and worship Him can our countenance relax and His light shine through because we are now living for Him and not ourselves. His desires are on our hearts and we are not longer striving for the futile and worthless things the world values. We can relax knowing He is in charge...He is performing all things for us...He will perfect that which concerns us...and one of my favorites is that in the multitude of my anxieties within His comforts would delight my soul. As we go through the trials of life with Him our faith increases because we see with heart knowledge that He is always there, He is faithful, He does not afflict us willingly, He is good and He is gracious, and He gives us a future and a hope. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.--Jeremiah 29:11
Look to Him...put away your sin...Behold Him and watch Him bring beauty from ashes. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.--2nd Cor 3:18
Let your beauty be as it is described in 1 Peter: "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.--1 Peter 3:4
Love
Mom
“The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you;The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”--Numbers 6:24-26
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