This chapter, the last in Part 1, talks about what God's plan for the role of husbands and wives is. Martha Peace iterates 5 issues for consideration along with verses from the bible to back up her statements. To recap: 1. Men and women are created in the image of God. (Gen 1:27) We are therefore accountable to Him. 2. In the order of creation, man was created first. (Gen 2:7, 18, 21-22.) 3. Woman was created for the man, not man for the woman. (1Cor 11:7-9) 4. The effects of the fall of man (Gen 3:16) 5. The husband was and still is to be the head of his wife. (Ephes 5:23)
After looking at Ephesians 5:23, Martha Peace examines the model of Christ and the Church. The wife acts out the church and the husband models Christ's response to the church. (Ephes 5:22, 24, 32; Ephes 5:25, 28, 29, 33)
The bottom line is we as wives are to glorify and submit to our own husbands. We are to fulfill our roles as helpmeets.
For this study I would like to look at number 4 in greater detail. It has always been a help to me to remember that as a result of the fall my husband and I are at odds. My desire because of sin is to dominate him. My God given role to glorify and submit to him is therefore in opposition to my desire. Ouch!
Remembering this has helped me much in the battle of the flesh. Seeing it from this perspective at times even allows me to laugh at my predicament and become much less embroiled in conflict. It has made Ephesians 6:12 come alive for me: 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
We are truly in a spiritual battle. It is not about you or me..it is about glorifying our God...not the god of this world. Rise above it (the desire to control and rule), recognize it, see it for what it is...give your children and your husband an example and a gift. Fulfill your role...be submissive, quiet and gentle. Build your husband up, love him and love your children. When you fall, pick yourself up...go to the Lord and your husband...confess your sin and begin again. His mercies are new every morning.
The verse below when I first heard it interpreted blessed me for many many months in my struggles with my flesh.
1st Timothy 2:13-15: And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.
John MacArthur interprets these verses this way: Read his interpretation through and be encouraged.
1st Tim 2:13,14, 15: A woman's subordinate role did not result after the Fall as a cultural, chauvinistic corruption of God's perfect design; rather, God established her role as part of His original creation. (v13) God made woman after man to be his suitable helper. The Fall actually corroborates God's divine plan of creation. By nature Eve was not suited to assume the position of ultimate responsibility. By leaving Adam's protection and usurping his headship, she was vulnerable and fell, thus confirming how important it was for her to stay under the protection and leadership of her husband. Adam them violated his leadership role, followed Eve in her sin, and plunged the human race into sinfulness--all connected with violating God's planned roles for the sexes. Ultimately the responsiblity for the Fall still rests with Adam, since he chose to disobey God apart from being deceived. That Paul does not have Eve in mind here is clear because the verb translated "will be saved": is future, and he also uses the plural pronoun "they." He is talking about women after Eve. "will be saved" better translated in this context, "will be preserved." The Greek word can also mean :to rescue" "to preserve safe and unharmed, "to heal," to deliver from." It appears several times in the NT without reference to spiritual salvation. Paul is not advocating that women are eternally saved from sin through childbearing or that they maintain their salvation by having babies, both of which would be clear contradictions of the NT teaching of salvation by grace alone through faith alone sustained forever. Paul is teaching that even though a woman bears the stigma of being the initial instrument who led the race into sin, it is women through childbearing who may be preserved or freed from that stigma by raising a generation of godly children. In childbearing...Because mothers have a unique bond and intimacy with their children and spend far more time with them than do fathers, they have a far greater influence in their lives and thus a unique responsiblity and opportunity for rearing godly children.. While a woman may have led the human race into sin, women have the privilege of leading many out of sin to godliness. Paul is speaking in general terms; God does not want all women to be married, let alone bear children. If they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control. The godly appearance, demeanor and behavior commanded of believing women in the church is motivated by the promise of deliverance from any inferior status and the joy of raising godly children.
Did I convince you...
Here is one more...one of my favorites especially if you are trying to put the other first: Hebrews 13: 17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.
There are many more: Do a study on servants, submission, obedience. I like to use a Thompson Chain reference for these kinds of word studies.
The last section of Chapter 6 gives us a list of how we might be the glory of our husbands. I especially like #'s 1, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 14. I bolded 8 and 14 because I think they are very important. The heart of your husband should trust you...Build your house...speak only things that are necessary, that edify, that are good and that impart grace to the hearer.
In Him
Jean
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Chapter 5: A Wife's Understanding of Marriage
Being of one accord with one another...what a beautiful picture that makes. A marriage where two are really walking together is an example for all who are privileged to witness it.
I was encouraged by what Martha Peace said on page 34. "Drawing closer together and growing spiritually occurs in measurable, concrete and practical ways." I am a math person so measurable and concrete sound wonderful to me. Each little step we take draws us closer to our goal. Making small changes in your demeanor, behavior and/or attitude WILL have an effect on your home. (positive changes = positive effect) Don't try to do it all at once. The first time I went through this book I read chapters over and over again...trying to absorb the material. I made small changes...What an encouragement when I saw the fruit. Obedience to God's word results not only in temporal blessings (time bound present) but also in eternal blessings. Don't give up, push through, endure. It may seem like it is two steps forward and one step back. Keep going. Confess, repent and put on the right biblical response. Keep your marriage, your husband and especially your sin issues in prayer.
Satan may attack. He usually doesn't need to bother in my case...my flesh is my own worst enemy.
For example, recently my husband bought the book The Exemplary Husband. I was, of course, delighted. I was also wary...I know my flesh. I would peek to see where he was in the book to see if he hit upon the areas that I wanted to see change. My behavior went downhill from there. My focus had changed from what could I do for him to what he was going to do for me. I had an agenda. The Lord cannot work in our hearts when our desires and our own agendas are in the way. I needed to constantly put it off, confess it and ask God to align my will with His. Keep your focus on your behavior. Make sure it is God glorifying. Spend more of your spare time (I know we say we never have spare time..but we do..ask the Lord to show you how you spend yours) in the Word. Take a book of the bible and study it. Commit to memory a portion of scripture. As a suggestion start with Romans 12:1-21 and Colossians 3:12-17. Make your deepest desire the same as the Psalmist: see page 65 and 66 for encouraging Scripture in this.
On page 37 Martha Peace discusses the process of sanctification...positional, progressive and future. She spends the most time on progressive. This is the process that you become more like Jesus. I especially liked that Mrs. Peace reminds us that our sanctification is not only a work of God as He convicts, disciplines, and enables you, but it is also a work of man as you are responsible to "grow in the grace and knowedge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (II Peter 3:18) She points out that "grow" is an imperative verb. (a command) She goes on to point out more commands: pursue love (1 Cor 14:1) set your mind on..the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:5) (the things that God desires..his agenda not yours) "flee immorality" (1 Cor 6:18) and to "discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness" (I Tim 4:7) In other words there is much work to be done on your side. If this is your desire, God will enable you to grow spiritually by the power of the Holy Spirit. Check out the ways God helps us become more like Christ on pages 38 and 39.
The next area Martha Peace discusses is biblical reproofs for the husband and the wife's mutual sanctification. I need to tread very carefully in this area in my marriage. It is so easy for me to see the ways in which my husband falls short of the glory of God. If I must say something, I TRY to say it once and close my mouth. I attempt to choose the right time and the right wording and to be specific and hopefully leave the rest up to God. Sometimes I prefer the pray and duck method...a method my good friend shared with me several years ago. God knows what you need..what your husband needs..just give it to Him who is able in prayer with thanksgiving. (and then duck and watch the Lord work)
The part of this section (reproof section) that I found most helpful was on page 45: You can know that You are Receiving Reproof from Your Husband Sinfully When... You become angry and lash out at him. You feel hurt, resentful, and unforgiving. You focus on the things he is doing wrong. You suffer intense personal hurt. That was helpful. By the grace of God respond with humility and gentleness. What a gift to your husband and to your children. What an example of Christ. Read the benefits of responding rightly to a reproof at the bottom of page 41. These are especially helpful to read when you are in the middle of receiving one and behaving badly. Humility draws you close to God...Pride keeps you away. BE HUMBLE!
I was encouraged by what Martha Peace said on page 34. "Drawing closer together and growing spiritually occurs in measurable, concrete and practical ways." I am a math person so measurable and concrete sound wonderful to me. Each little step we take draws us closer to our goal. Making small changes in your demeanor, behavior and/or attitude WILL have an effect on your home. (positive changes = positive effect) Don't try to do it all at once. The first time I went through this book I read chapters over and over again...trying to absorb the material. I made small changes...What an encouragement when I saw the fruit. Obedience to God's word results not only in temporal blessings (time bound present) but also in eternal blessings. Don't give up, push through, endure. It may seem like it is two steps forward and one step back. Keep going. Confess, repent and put on the right biblical response. Keep your marriage, your husband and especially your sin issues in prayer.
Satan may attack. He usually doesn't need to bother in my case...my flesh is my own worst enemy.
For example, recently my husband bought the book The Exemplary Husband. I was, of course, delighted. I was also wary...I know my flesh. I would peek to see where he was in the book to see if he hit upon the areas that I wanted to see change. My behavior went downhill from there. My focus had changed from what could I do for him to what he was going to do for me. I had an agenda. The Lord cannot work in our hearts when our desires and our own agendas are in the way. I needed to constantly put it off, confess it and ask God to align my will with His. Keep your focus on your behavior. Make sure it is God glorifying. Spend more of your spare time (I know we say we never have spare time..but we do..ask the Lord to show you how you spend yours) in the Word. Take a book of the bible and study it. Commit to memory a portion of scripture. As a suggestion start with Romans 12:1-21 and Colossians 3:12-17. Make your deepest desire the same as the Psalmist: see page 65 and 66 for encouraging Scripture in this.
On page 37 Martha Peace discusses the process of sanctification...positional, progressive and future. She spends the most time on progressive. This is the process that you become more like Jesus. I especially liked that Mrs. Peace reminds us that our sanctification is not only a work of God as He convicts, disciplines, and enables you, but it is also a work of man as you are responsible to "grow in the grace and knowedge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (II Peter 3:18) She points out that "grow" is an imperative verb. (a command) She goes on to point out more commands: pursue love (1 Cor 14:1) set your mind on..the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:5) (the things that God desires..his agenda not yours) "flee immorality" (1 Cor 6:18) and to "discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness" (I Tim 4:7) In other words there is much work to be done on your side. If this is your desire, God will enable you to grow spiritually by the power of the Holy Spirit. Check out the ways God helps us become more like Christ on pages 38 and 39.
The next area Martha Peace discusses is biblical reproofs for the husband and the wife's mutual sanctification. I need to tread very carefully in this area in my marriage. It is so easy for me to see the ways in which my husband falls short of the glory of God. If I must say something, I TRY to say it once and close my mouth. I attempt to choose the right time and the right wording and to be specific and hopefully leave the rest up to God. Sometimes I prefer the pray and duck method...a method my good friend shared with me several years ago. God knows what you need..what your husband needs..just give it to Him who is able in prayer with thanksgiving. (and then duck and watch the Lord work)
The part of this section (reproof section) that I found most helpful was on page 45: You can know that You are Receiving Reproof from Your Husband Sinfully When... You become angry and lash out at him. You feel hurt, resentful, and unforgiving. You focus on the things he is doing wrong. You suffer intense personal hurt. That was helpful. By the grace of God respond with humility and gentleness. What a gift to your husband and to your children. What an example of Christ. Read the benefits of responding rightly to a reproof at the bottom of page 41. These are especially helpful to read when you are in the middle of receiving one and behaving badly. Humility draws you close to God...Pride keeps you away. BE HUMBLE!
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