Ruffled Feathers…

He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love,

But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends.—Proverbs 17:9 (AMP Version)

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for "love will cover a multitude of sins."—1 Peter 4:8

How do we preserve peace with others…with family and with neighbors? How do we show them the goodness and kindness of God?  We cover or overwhelm them (and their offenses) with love.  To love someone with God’s love is to seek their highest good. 

John MacArthur describes the word fervently (from 1 Peter 4:8 above) in this way.  It is very convicting. 

Fervent means “to be stretched,” “to be strained.” It is used of a runner who is moving at maximum output with taut muscles straining and stretching to the limit. This kind of love requires the Christian to put another’s spiritual good ahead of his own desires in spite of being treated unkindly, ungraciously, or even with hostility 

He is also careful to point out that this teaching does not preclude the discipline of a sinning, unrepentant church member (cf. Matt. 18:15–18; 1 Cor. 5), but means specifically that a Christian should overlook sins against him if possible and always be ready to forgive insults and unkindnesses.

Beloved…As much as depends on you, live peaceably with others.  Do not stir up strife by stirring up the pot and repeating an unpleasant matter, an insult, an unkindness or an offense.  Instead, cover them with love by overlooking them…especially those offenses that are against you. Meditate on the Lord’s goodness toward you instead of the offenses of another.  Hebrews 12:3-4 really helps me here, because aside from making me smile at my own pettiness, it truly allows me to see the magnitude of what Christ suffered on my behalf. I have NOTHING to complain about.  

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

I love the way Matthew Henry exposits Proverbs 17:9.  My favorite line is bolded.  

“The way to preserve peace among relations and neighbours is to make the best of every thing, not to tell others what has been said or done against them when it is not at all necessary to their safety, nor to take notice of what has been said or done against them when it is not at all necessary to their safety, nor to take notice of what has been said or done against ourselves, but to excuse both, and put the best construction upon them. "It was an oversight; therefore overlook it. It was done through forgetfulness; therefore forget it. It perhaps made nothing of you; do you make nothing of it." 2. The ripping up of faults is the ripping out of love, and nothing tends more to the separating of friends, and setting them at variance, than the repeating of matters that have been in variance; for they commonly lose nothing in the repetition, but the things themselves are aggravated and the passions about them revived and exasperated. The best method of peace is by an amnesty or act of oblivion.”  

Below are some verses that have helped me pursue love (albeit so very imperfectly) towards the people God has graciously placed in my life.

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. 9 For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery," "You shall not murder," "You shall not steal," "You shall not bear false witness," "You shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.—Romans 13:8-10

Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,—1 Peter 1:22

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails.—1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.—Philippians 2:1-4